Use your Happiness Shield to Protect your Happiness!

The Happiness Shield

Kindness - I admire __________

Love - I accept ______________

Optimism - I am optimistic _____

Gratitude - I am grateful _______

Zest - I am excited ____________

*Curiosity – I am interested ____________

The Happiness Shield is one of the most important tools of our positive psychology programs. The shield is designed to protect you from happiness challenges. It is made from the strengths associated with happiness found in the Values in Action (VIA) Character Strengths Classification. This tool highlights what is best about your personality. Each person has a unique character strength profile. Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, you can focus on what makes you happy.

Out of the 24 strengths, there are some strengths can be developed for you to feel happier. Those strengths are kindness, love, optimism, gratitude, and zest (KLOGZ) with a bonus strength of curiosity (C). When it comes to fighting off happiness challenges, if you use your KLOGZ you will end up laughing at the challenge! Read these instructions, then draw away!

Exercise: Create your Happiness Shield

Grab a pencil and paper, and draw a large box. Then draw a stick figure with a smiley face, and put some hair on it. That is you.
Draw a horizontal line underneath the stick figure like it’s the ground and then put a circle around the entire body of the stick figure.
Write the word happy all over the white space between the stick figure and the circle, happy under the legs, on top of the head, over and over. This is you making the happiness decision.
Write the words on the outside of the circle: kindness, love, optimism, gratitude, and zest. So the words become the circle:
Draw four asterisks or stars on the outside of the circle.
Label them as person, place, thing, and circumstance.
Underneath the diagram write the question, “How can I use kindness, love, optimism, gratitude, and zest to protect my happiness?”

Write your answers to the questions below about using your Happiness Shield.

Identify a person, place, thing or circumstance that creates unhappiness for you. Choose a small challenge here – wait until you master the skill before you apply it to a more difficult situation.

Example: My neighbor is mean to me.

Write about a person, place, thing or circumstance that creates unhappiness for you.

Decide if you want to use the Happiness Shield for an inner monologue (talking to yourself) or an outer dialogue (talking to another person). Do you want to have these thoughts to yourself? Or say them out loud to someone? You can do both.

Inner Monologue

I admire (kindness)

Example: I admire how my neighbor keeps his yard so clean.

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I accept (love)

I accept that my dogs ball on his lawn makes him angry.

I am optimistic (optimism)

I am optimistic that I will be able to keep my dog’s ball out of his yard in the future.

I am grateful (gratitude)

I am grateful for the opportunity to know how my neighbor feels.

I am excited (zest)

I am excited to go to the dog park.

I am interested in (curiosity)

I am interested in knowing why my neighbor feels so strongly about this situation.

Outer Dialogue

This exercise helps you figure out what you might say to another person. We will use the neighbor example again here.

I admire (kindness)

Example: I admire how you keep your lawn so clean.

I accept (love)

Example: I accept that you feel upset about my dog’s ball being on your lawn.

I am optimistic (optimism)

Example: I am optimistic that we can come up with a solution.

I am grateful (gratitude)

I am excited (zest)

Example: I am excited to be happy neighbors again.

I am interested in (curiosity)

Example: I am interested in what you are doing this weekend.

How do you feel?

In order to master the Happiness Shield, practice it five times a day each afternoon for three weeks. You can set your alarm to remind you each hour, every afternoon, for five hours. Use the little challenges to practice for the bigger ones. The more your practice this skill, the easier it will be to laugh at your happiness challenges and fly over the hurdles of life.

Write about your experience using the Happiness Shield. How did it go? What did you enjoy the most?

The Happiness Shield and the next exercise (KLOGZ+C) helps to create resiliency to keep you happy regardless of life’s challenges. In learning sustainable happiness, you maintain your happiness in the face of adversity. Hold your happiness challenge tools in the front of your mind, ready for the next person, place, thing, or circumstance that creates unhappiness for you.

How to use KLOGZ+C to protect your happiness

You have to use all five KLOGZ+C (kindness, love, optimism, gratitude, and zest, curiosity) at the same time. It is unable to work if you use only one, two, or three of the strengths. You need all five. Here is an example of how to use KLOGZ+C.

Who has an unhappy family member? Whether it’s mom, sister, brother, dad, whoever it is, you are going to respond with the KLOGZ+C. Let us say your mom is having a bad day, and you really want to respond with your KLOGZ+C.

Mom is complaining about her bad day, and you have a couple of choices. You can say, “Mom that really sucks,” and agree with her. You can respond with more complaining. Misery does love company. Or, you can intercept with the KLOGZ+C!

Kindness - I admire __________

Love - I accept ______________

Optimism - I am optimistic _____

Gratitude - I am grateful _______

Zest - I am excited ____________

Curiosity – I am interested ____________

Now practice.

Mom says, “Grumble, grumble grumble.”

You respond with your KLOGZ!

“Mom, I admire how you always tell me how you really feel.

I accept you are having a bad day today.

I’m optimistic things will improve.

I’m grateful for this time we do have to spend together.

I’m excited for lunch!”

Kindness, you can always think of kindness as admiration. When people get admired, something softens them inside. When was the last time you were admired by your loved ones? Everyone can use more admiration in their lives.

Start your KLOGZ with Kindness.

“Mom, I admire how you always tell me how you really feel.” This is love.
“I accept that you are having a bad day today.” This is unconditional acceptance.
“I am optimistic things will improve because I just arrived, and we are about to go have a great lunch.” This is realistic optimism.
I am grateful we have this time to spend together. This is gratitude.
I am excited to go to lunch!” This is zest.
I am interested in knowing where you want to eat. This is curiosity.

Love is unconditional acceptance of yourself and others. Offering your mom acceptance of her bad mood could feel comforting to her.

Sometimes optimism gets a bad rap. It is important you maintain realistic optimism. It’s best to understand realistic optimism through an example, A pessimist stands at the bottom of a mountain looks at the top and says, “It will be impossible to get to the top.” An optimist stands at the bottom of the mountain and says, “I can see myself at the top am going to go for the gold, here I go.”

A realistic optimist stands at the bottom of the mountain and says, “I will prepare myself for the journey. I am going to bring two pairs of shoes, enough water, another sweater, and I can see myself at the top.” Realistic optimism is having an achievable goal with a realistic plan and believing in yourself to achieve the plan.

Gratitude is having a sense of thanks for something in your life. Zest is enthusiasm and excitement for life. Curiosity helps you open up to learn more.

Kindness, Love, Optimism, Gratitude, Zest and Curiosity

Back to the conversation with Mom. Mom says, “grumble grumble, grumble....”

You say,

“Mom, I admire how you can share your feelings openly with me.

I accept you are having a bad day today.

I am optimistic things will improve

since I just arrived, and we are about to go to lunch.

I am grateful we have this time to spend together.

I am excited to go to lunch!”

I am interested in knowing where you want to eat.

Do you feel happier just by reading that? Did you get a happiness boost? This is happiness science at its best! For the happiness overachievers, if you wanted to add a bonus to the Happiness Shield, use affection. “Mom, come here, I want to give you a hug!”

Exercise:

Kindness - I admire __________

Love - I accept ______________

Optimism - I am optimistic _____

Gratitude - I am grateful _______

Zest - I am excited ____________

Curiosity – I am interested ____________

Happiness Coaching, Happiness Makeover, Upward SpiralAymee CogetJuly 31, 2022feel better now, happiness makeover, upward spiral program, happiness shieldComment