18 CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Here are 18 skills to help improve your relationship.
Relationship vs Individual Happiness (3 Circles)
Each person has to accept responsibility for their own happiness first and follow the five steps (empowerment, positive mood, resiliency, contentment, bliss) for themselves first and foremost.
The relationship has to be a separate entity allowing each person to individuate and co create the relationship between them in a conscious manner.
Most relationships are like this and people lose themselves and the relationship is unhealthy. Each individual and the relationship become one, without acknowledging subconscious patterns, past traumas, or individuated goals and lives. The partners become submerged without understanding of why they may feel an underlying discontent in the relationship.
There is an opportunity to create a relationship in a conscious way so both people can be happy themselves and in relationship.
2. Five Steps of Sustainable Happiness
Think about how you are engaged with the 5 steps on your own and then think about how your relationship can have the 5 steps on its own. Support your partner in maintaining their own sustainable happiness 5 steps.
3. Positive Language Practice
Create a code word
enlist your partner’s participation
eliminate no, not, dont, can't,should, but, try
Add any other words you would like
Do a text converter for your keyboard on your phone
Learn nonviolent communication techniques
4. Triple AAA
I admire _____, I appreciate ______, give affection at least once a day
5. Six nice things
You can use your happiness shield + affection
Say 6 nice things for an emotional band-aid if you want to help your partner feel better
6. Heart’s Happiness Prescription (1-10)
Make sure you are taking your own happiness heartbeat and following the guidance of your heart.
7. Harmony creation = communication around conflict/resolution
Memorize and practice your own and your partner’s harmony creation process : consciously practice daily
8. Elephant & the Rider (subconscious vs conscious)
Be able to recognize when your elephant is ruling your perception, challenge yourself to see your own shadow and how it can be enlightened in any given situation.
9. Heart vs the Mind
Be aware of the truth of your heart vs the story in your mind, ignore the mind, and follow your heart
10. Seven Steps of Forgiveness
Never hold a grudge or resentment, process your ill feelings with the 7 steps of forgiveness
11. Illuminate new commitments post forgiveness
Remember to practice your commitments and hold a place of transparency with your partner about supporting each other in new commitments
12. Personality Characteristics
Remember you and your partner have different operating systems , acknowledge the strengths of each other and work within the understanding of how the other one ‘naturally’ operates.
13. Play to your partner's strengths (VIA)
Remember to go on strengths based dates, acknowledge and encourage each other’s strengths, memorize your own and your partner’s strengths
14. Love Languages
Speak to your partner’s love language and help them speak to yours, create action items and time allotment to ensure each one is speaking to the other’s top love language.
15. Four Horsemen
Acknowledge which horsemen are present in your own psychology, create a plan to train and abolish the horseman, create a partnership supportive plan in helping the elimination of the horseman during conflict so you can let go of your horsemen and align with their harmony creation process.
16. Relationship Vitals
On the daily, spend a few moments connecting with your heart on your own happiness and your relationship happiness. Communicate with the other one about your current vitals, be honest about what comes up, set aside to share your heart’s happiness prescription in your relationship, come up with a supportive partnership plan to succeed in completing the plan each day.
Heart’s Happiness 1-10
What do you need to be a 10?
If over a 10- what does you heart want to tell you?
17. 340 Strengths Activities
Acknowledge the strengths of your partner, visit the list and determine which strengths you would like to focus on, create a supportive partnership plan to actualize deeper contentment in the relationship. Ensure co captaining here.
18. Reflective Listening
Repeat what the other partner just said with objectivity, openness, non-attachment, and compassion to ensure accurate understanding.
For more information on our happy relationships program, visit www.happinessforhumankind.com